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[\/et_pb_text][\/et_pb_column][\/et_pb_row][et_pb_row column_structure=”1_2,1_2″ use_custom_gutter=”on” gutter_width=”3″ admin_label=”PULL QUOTE \/ IMAGE” _builder_version=”4.16″ global_colors_info=”{}”][et_pb_column type=”1_2″ _builder_version=”4.16″ custom_padding=”|||” global_colors_info=”{}” custom_padding__hover=”|||”][et_pb_blurb use_icon=”on” font_icon=”{||divi||400″ icon_color=”#0293f5″ image_icon_width=”60px” content_max_width=”1100px” admin_label=”QUOTE” _builder_version=”4.27.4″ body_font=”|600|on||||||” body_text_color=”#0293f5″ body_font_size=”34px” animation=”off” custom_css_blurb_image=”margin-left: 0;||margin-right: auto;||margin-bottom: 10px;||text-align: left;||display: block;” icon_font_size=”60px” global_colors_info=”{}”]<\/p>\n
“The Switch 2 preorder window has been temporarily delayed until we collect enough gold coins to pay the tariff boss.\u201d<\/p>\n
[\/et_pb_blurb][et_pb_text admin_label=”ATTRIBUTION” _builder_version=”4.27.4″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}”]<\/p>\n
\u2014 Undocumented Chief Financial Officer<\/em><\/p>\n [\/et_pb_text][\/et_pb_column][et_pb_column type=”1_2″ _builder_version=”4.16″ custom_padding=”|||” global_colors_info=”{}” custom_padding__hover=”|||”][et_pb_image src=”https:\/\/doubt.media\/wado\/wp-content\/uploads\/FeaturedImage_1250x833_WADO_2025_0405_SUPPORT2.jpg” title_text=”FeaturedImage_1250x833_WADO_2025_0405_SUPPORT2″ align=”center” align_tablet=”center” align_phone=”center” align_last_edited=”on|desktop” disabled_on=”off|off|off” admin_label=”IMAGE \u2014 SUPPORT OR DUPLICATE” _builder_version=”4.27.4″ border_radii=”on|8px|8px|8px|8px” global_colors_info=”{}”][\/et_pb_image][\/et_pb_column][\/et_pb_row][et_pb_row admin_label=”BODY – STORY” _builder_version=”4.16″ custom_width_px__hover=”1080px” custom_width_px__hover_enabled=”1080px” custom_width_percent__hover=”80%” custom_width_percent__hover_enabled=”80%” global_colors_info=”{}” gutter_width__hover=”2″ gutter_width__hover_enabled=”2″ parallax_1__hover=”off” 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background_size=”initial” background_position=”top_left” background_repeat=”repeat” global_colors_info=”{}”]<\/p>\n Nintendo has officially hit the giant glowing pause button on Switch 2 preorders. The reason? A confounding combo of Trump-era tariffs, inexplicable time travel side effects, and the chaotic interference of Wario, who may or may not now be Nintendo\u2019s chief financial officer.<\/p>\n The company announced the delay in a press release typed entirely in Wingdings, later translated via Ouija board. \u201cDue to increasing import costs and unforeseen anomalies in the space-time continuum,\u201d it read, \u201cthe Switch 2 preorder window has been temporarily delayed until we collect enough gold coins to pay the tariff boss.\u201d<\/p>\n Economists agree: the so-called \u201cTariff Boss Battle\u201d has been one of the hardest levels for Nintendo to clear since the Great Wii U Fiasco of 2012. With rising prices on parts, packaging, and question mark blocks, Nintendo says it must now \u201cgrind for resources\u201d before proceeding.<\/p>\n Insiders claim the crisis began after Wario, reportedly put in charge of Nintendo\u2019s tax strategy after winning a poker game in 2023, redirected the company\u2019s treasury into NFTs shaped like garlic. \u201cHe said it was a sound investment,\u201d one employee whispered, \u201cbut now we\u2019re broke and being haunted by the ghost of William McKinley.\u201d<\/p>\n [\/et_pb_text][et_pb_image src=”https:\/\/doubt.media\/wado\/wp-content\/uploads\/FeaturedImage_1250x833_WADO_2025_0405_SUPPORT.jpg” title_text=”FeaturedImage_1250x833_WADO_2025_0405_SUPPORT” align=”center” align_tablet=”center” align_phone=”center” align_last_edited=”on|desktop” disabled_on=”off|off|off” admin_label=”IMAGE \u2014 SUPPORT OR DUPLICATE” _builder_version=”4.27.4″ border_radii=”on|8px|8px|8px|8px” global_colors_info=”{}”][\/et_pb_image][et_pb_text admin_label=”BODY – STORY” _builder_version=”4.27.4″ background_size=”initial” background_position=”top_left” background_repeat=”repeat” global_colors_info=”{}”]<\/p>\n Indeed, multiple reports confirm the 25th president\u2019s spirit has been sighted in Nintendo HQ, angrily quoting 1890s trade policy and attempting to nerf Luigi in Smash Bros.<\/p>\n Meanwhile, fans have been left adrift in a console-less limbo, wondering what this means for the rumored Switch 2 features, including:<\/p>\n While no official release date has been given, sources inside the company say the situation is being actively monitored by a team of highly trained Yoshis.<\/p>\n Until then, Nintendo urges customers to remain calm, stock up on gold coins, and prepare for \u201ca very big boss fight in Q4.\u201d<\/p>\n [\/et_pb_text][\/et_pb_column][\/et_pb_row][et_pb_row disabled_on=”on|on|on” admin_label=”PODCAST EMBED” _builder_version=”4.20.1″ _module_preset=”default” disabled=”on” global_colors_info=”{}”][et_pb_column type=”4_4″ _builder_version=”4.20.1″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}”][et_pb_code admin_label=”PODCAST EMBED” _builder_version=”4.20.2″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}”]\n