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[\/et_pb_text][\/et_pb_column][\/et_pb_row][et_pb_row column_structure=”1_2,1_2″ use_custom_gutter=”on” gutter_width=”3″ admin_label=”PULL QUOTE \/ IMAGE” _builder_version=”4.16″ global_colors_info=”{}”][et_pb_column type=”1_2″ _builder_version=”4.16″ custom_padding=”|||” global_colors_info=”{}” custom_padding__hover=”|||”][et_pb_blurb use_icon=”on” font_icon=”{||divi||400″ icon_color=”#0293f5″ image_icon_width=”60px” content_max_width=”1100px” admin_label=”QUOTE” _builder_version=”4.27.4″ body_font=”|600|on||||||” body_text_color=”#0293f5″ body_font_size=”34px” animation=”off” custom_css_blurb_image=”margin-left: 0;||margin-right: auto;||margin-bottom: 10px;||text-align: left;||display: block;” icon_font_size=”60px” global_colors_info=”{}”]<\/p>\n
\u201cSo we decided, why fight it? People seem to love being baited like trout at a county fair fishing pond.\u201d<\/p>\n
[\/et_pb_blurb][et_pb_text admin_label=”ATTRIBUTION” _builder_version=”4.27.4″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}”]<\/p>\n
\u2014 Editor-in-Chief Doug \u201cPageview\u201d Patterson<\/em><\/p>\n [\/et_pb_text][\/et_pb_column][et_pb_column type=”1_2″ _builder_version=”4.16″ custom_padding=”|||” global_colors_info=”{}” custom_padding__hover=”|||”][et_pb_image src=”https:\/\/doubt.media\/wado\/wp-content\/uploads\/FeaturedImage_1250x833_WADO_2025_0126.jpg” title_text=”FeaturedImage_1250x833_WADO_2025_0126″ align=”center” align_tablet=”center” align_phone=”center” align_last_edited=”on|desktop” disabled_on=”off|off|off” admin_label=”IMAGE \u2014 SUPPORT OR DUPLICATE” _builder_version=”4.27.4″ border_radii=”on|8px|8px|8px|8px” global_colors_info=”{}”][\/et_pb_image][\/et_pb_column][\/et_pb_row][et_pb_row admin_label=”BODY – STORY” _builder_version=”4.16″ custom_width_px__hover=”1080px” custom_width_px__hover_enabled=”1080px” custom_width_percent__hover=”80%” custom_width_percent__hover_enabled=”80%” global_colors_info=”{}” gutter_width__hover=”2″ gutter_width__hover_enabled=”2″ parallax_1__hover=”off” 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background_size=”initial” background_position=”top_left” background_repeat=”repeat” hover_enabled=”0″ global_colors_info=”{}” sticky_enabled=”0″]<\/p>\n In a stunning act of journalistic integrity\u2014or maybe just pure laziness\u2014The Greater Metro Gazette, a beloved regional newspaper serving the Tri-County area since 1873, has openly admitted that every single one of its online articles is, in fact, clickbait.<\/p>\n \u201cYes, it\u2019s true,\u201d said Editor-in-Chief Doug \u201cPageview\u201d Patterson in a hastily called press conference held in the breakroom of their downtown office. \u201cWe realized that writing thoughtful, well-researched stories wasn\u2019t getting us the engagement we needed. So we decided, why fight it? People seem to love being baited like trout at a county fair fishing pond.\u201d<\/p>\n The revelation comes after months of suspicion, as readers noticed headlines like:<\/p>\n And who could forget their investigative masterpiece: \u201cWe Put the High School Principal in a Haunted House with a GoPro. Watch What Happens Next.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n [\/et_pb_text][et_pb_image src=”https:\/\/doubt.media\/wado\/wp-content\/uploads\/FeaturedImage_1250x833_WADO_2025_0126-SUPPORT1.jpg” title_text=”FeaturedImage_1250x833_WADO_2025_0126-SUPPORT1″ align=”center” align_tablet=”center” align_phone=”center” align_last_edited=”on|desktop” disabled_on=”off|off|off” admin_label=”IMAGE \u2014 SUPPORT OR DUPLICATE” _builder_version=”4.27.4″ border_radii=”on|8px|8px|8px|8px” global_colors_info=”{}”][\/et_pb_image][et_pb_text admin_label=”BODY – STORY” _builder_version=”4.27.4″ background_size=”initial” background_position=”top_left” background_repeat=”repeat” hover_enabled=”0″ global_colors_info=”{}” sticky_enabled=”0″]<\/p>\n When asked if the content behind the headlines actually delivered on the hype, Patterson shrugged and responded, \u201cSometimes. But usually not. That\u2019s kind of the point of clickbait, isn\u2019t it?\u201d He then passed out glossy pamphlets titled \u201cHow to Turn Curiosity into Revenue\u201d featuring a pie chart with \u201cAngry Comments\u201d taking up a solid 70%.<\/p>\n According to inside sources (a.k.a. interns who will not be returning next semester), the staff at the Gazette uses an AI-generated headline tool called \u201cBaitinator 3000,\u201d which promises to create \u201c100% irresistible titles.\u201d Internally, the newsroom refers to it as \u201cthe cash register.\u201d<\/p>\n Local reader Marge Tiddles expressed frustration with the shift. \u201cI just wanted to know if they\u2019re fixing the potholes on Maple Street, but instead I got \u2018Maple Street Drivers Are Losing Their Minds Over This One Weird Trick!\u2019\u201d<\/p>\n Meanwhile, Patterson insists this is the future of news. \u201cLook, it\u2019s 2025. Print is dead, and no one\u2019s clicking unless you dangle a shiny headline in front of their face. Sure, it\u2019s shallow, but shallow pays the bills. Do you know how much we made off ads last month from our article, \u2018What Your Choice of Donut Says About Your Political Leanings\u2019? Enough to buy enough doughnuts for half of the office.\u201d<\/p>\n As for the future of the Gazette, Patterson teased an upcoming exclusive titled: \u201cThe Gazette\u2019s Big Secret Revealed: You\u2019ll Hate Yourself for Clicking This, but You\u2019ll Do It Anyway.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n Without a doubt, we will.<\/p>\n [\/et_pb_text][\/et_pb_column][\/et_pb_row][et_pb_row disabled_on=”on|on|on” admin_label=”PODCAST EMBED” _builder_version=”4.20.1″ _module_preset=”default” disabled=”on” global_colors_info=”{}”][et_pb_column type=”4_4″ _builder_version=”4.20.1″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}”][et_pb_code admin_label=”PODCAST EMBED” _builder_version=”4.20.2″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}”]\n