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[\/et_pb_text][\/et_pb_column][\/et_pb_row][et_pb_row column_structure=”1_2,1_2″ use_custom_gutter=”on” gutter_width=”3″ admin_label=”PULL QUOTE \/ IMAGE” _builder_version=”4.16″ global_colors_info=”{}”][et_pb_column type=”1_2″ _builder_version=”4.16″ custom_padding=”|||” global_colors_info=”{}” custom_padding__hover=”|||”][et_pb_blurb use_icon=”on” font_icon=”{||divi||400″ icon_color=”#0293f5″ image_icon_width=”60px” content_max_width=”1100px” admin_label=”QUOTE” _builder_version=”4.27.2″ body_font=”|600|on||||||” body_text_color=”#0293f5″ body_font_size=”34px” animation=”off” custom_css_blurb_image=”margin-left: 0;||margin-right: auto;||margin-bottom: 10px;||text-align: left;||display: block;” icon_font_size=”60px” global_colors_info=”{}”]\u201cHe looked wild, like he\u2019d seen a ghost\u2014or possibly too many caffeine gels.\u201d[\/et_pb_blurb][et_pb_text admin_label=”ATTRIBUTION” _builder_version=”4.27.2″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}”]<\/p>\n
\u2014 Marnie Flap \/ Local Shopkeeper<\/em><\/p>\n [\/et_pb_text][\/et_pb_column][et_pb_column type=”1_2″ _builder_version=”4.16″ custom_padding=”|||” global_colors_info=”{}” custom_padding__hover=”|||”][et_pb_image src=”https:\/\/doubt.media\/wado\/wp-content\/uploads\/FeaturedImage_1250x833_WADO_2024_1006-SUPPORT.jpg” title_text=”FeaturedImage_1250x833_WADO_2024_1006-SUPPORT” align=”center” align_tablet=”center” align_phone=”center” align_last_edited=”on|desktop” disabled_on=”off|off|off” admin_label=”IMAGE \u2014 SUPPORT OR DUPLICATE” _builder_version=”4.27.2″ border_radii=”on|8px|8px|8px|8px” global_colors_info=”{}”][\/et_pb_image][\/et_pb_column][\/et_pb_row][et_pb_row admin_label=”BODY – STORY” _builder_version=”4.16″ custom_width_px__hover=”1080px” custom_width_px__hover_enabled=”1080px” custom_width_percent__hover=”80%” custom_width_percent__hover_enabled=”80%” global_colors_info=”{}” gutter_width__hover=”2″ gutter_width__hover_enabled=”2″ parallax_1__hover=”off” 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background_size=”initial” background_position=”top_left” background_repeat=”repeat” hover_enabled=”0″ global_colors_info=”{}” sticky_enabled=”0″]<\/p>\n PORT DRIFTSVILLE<\/strong> \u2013 In what can only be described as the most bizarre story of the week (and that\u2019s saying something), local man Henry Trotter claims to have run so far away that he stumbled upon a flock of seagulls singing the 1982 classic \u201cI Ran (So Far Away)\u201d by A Flock of Seagulls. However, his story has been met with skepticism, disbelief, and a significant number of eye rolls.<\/p>\n The incident, which Henry swears happened during a particularly vigorous morning jog, has left him both breathless and frustrated. \u201cThey were all squawking, right? But then\u2026 it turned into a melody! And it wasn\u2019t just random noise. It was the song!\u201d he exclaimed, waving his arms in a desperate attempt to convey the seriousness of his discovery.<\/p>\n Eyewitnesses, if you can call them that, confirm seeing Henry sprint back into town in a fit of what they described as a \u201cpost-run delusion.\u201d \u201cHe looked wild, like he\u2019d seen a ghost\u2014or possibly too many caffeine gels,\u201d said local shopkeeper Marnie Flap. \u201cHe kept yelling, \u2018The seagulls! They\u2019re singing the song! I\u2019m telling you!\u2019 I had to close the shop early just to avoid the commotion.\u201d<\/p>\n Unfortunately for Henry, his tale was met with considerable doubt. \u201cI mean, give him a break, he just ran all night and day,\u201d sighed his wife, Linda Trotter, who coincidentally has auburn hair.<\/p>\n Faced with a complete lack of believers, Henry did what any self-respecting adult would do: he laced up his sneakers, grabbed his phone, and set off again. \u201cI\u2019m going back out there, and this time, I\u2019m recording them,\u201d he declared to a confused group of onlookers, who watched him jog off into the horizon, shouting, \u201cI\u2019m going to prove it! I\u2019m not crazy!\u201d<\/p>\n [\/et_pb_text][et_pb_image src=”https:\/\/doubt.media\/wado\/wp-content\/uploads\/FeaturedImage_1250x833_WADO_2024_1006-SUPPORT-2.jpg” title_text=”FeaturedImage_1250x833_WADO_2024_1006-SUPPORT-2″ align=”center” align_tablet=”center” align_phone=”center” align_last_edited=”on|desktop” disabled_on=”off|off|off” admin_label=”IMAGE \u2014 SUPPORT OR DUPLICATE” _builder_version=”4.27.2″ hover_enabled=”0″ border_radii=”on|8px|8px|8px|8px” global_colors_info=”{}” sticky_enabled=”0″][\/et_pb_image][et_pb_text admin_label=”BODY – STORY” _builder_version=”4.27.2″ background_size=”initial” background_position=”top_left” background_repeat=”repeat” hover_enabled=”0″ global_colors_info=”{}” sticky_enabled=”0″]<\/p>\n As of press time, Henry was last seen running along the coastline, phone held aloft, ready to capture what he insists will be the most groundbreaking ornithological discovery since\u2026 well, ever. Local authorities have been alerted to his potential return, anticipating either a recorded flock of seagulls humming an \u201980s synth-pop hit or an exhausted man with another tale of inexplicable sounds.<\/p>\n \u201cI\u2019ll find them again!\u201d Henry yelled over his shoulder as he disappeared from view. \u201cAnd when I do, everyone will see! Those seagulls ran so far away, too!\u201d<\/p>\n In a strange twist, sources have reported an uptick in local seagull activity, with several of the birds now congregating ominously near the pier. The town has been advised to keep their smartphones ready, just in case the birds decide to squawk out some deep-cut B-sides.<\/p>\n Only time\u2014and Henry\u2019s camera roll\u2014will tell if this man will finally prove to the world that sometimes, truth really is stranger than a synth solo.<\/p>\n [\/et_pb_text][\/et_pb_column][\/et_pb_row][et_pb_row disabled_on=”on|on|on” admin_label=”PODCAST EMBED” _builder_version=”4.20.1″ _module_preset=”default” disabled=”on” global_colors_info=”{}”][et_pb_column type=”4_4″ _builder_version=”4.20.1″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}”][et_pb_code admin_label=”PODCAST EMBED” _builder_version=”4.20.2″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}”]